The South By Southwest Conference in Austin.  Me.  A love story.  Kind of.

If you know me, you know that I live in a town of less than 1000 people in the New River Gorge, West Virginia.  There’s a national park about 100 yards from my house.  I’m happy there.

So coming to Austin is a little bit of a culture shock.  It’s an uber-hip place where a lot of the locals do everything they possibly can to “keep Austin weird”, as the now-somewhat-unhip-and-touristy motto goes.

For me, it’s like walking off the set of Hee-Haw and onto the set of Star Trek.  If Star Trek had a spring break episode.

Here’s what I mean:  there are thousands and thousands and thousands of geeks here.  But very few of them are geeks in the traditional sense.  They’re the creators behind tech in media, so yes, a lot of them wear glasses and funny shirts.  But it’s geek chic.  The social skills here are razor sharp.

My social skills?  Eh.  You get comfy in a small town.  Even though I spent most of my adult life as a guide, and met thousands and thousands of people, unfortunately, a lot of that just doesn’t translate.  I’m out of practice.

The difference:  Those people I guided?  They were in my house.  I could tell jokes and they pretty much had to laugh.  I could threaten people with bodily harm and they would actually believe me.

Here, not so much.  I’m the littlest fish in the biggest pond.  I’ve been meeting people from NYC, SF, and SYD pretty regularly.  But when I say I’m from the NRG, I get (deservedly) blank stares.

But that’s not to say that the people aren’t friendly.  They are.  Very, super, amazingly friendly.  Everyone, everywhere, even the weirdest person on sixth street (see pic).

So, if you’re anything like me, you need some help. Here are 5 tips to help get your network on at a big conference, esp. if you’re from a little place…

1. Be Absolutely, 100%, Completely Transparent Meaning, don’t pretend that you’re anything other than what you are:  A beautiful sunfish among some pretty large sharks.  That’s cool, and interesting, and can also be used as a conversation starter.  If you’re not, then you’re a remora.

2. Put The Damn Phone Away If you stand there checking your email as thousands of people walk by, the people in your inbox will really appreciative,  I’m sure.  But damn, dude!  You came all the way to Austin to do that?  Move outside your comfort zone and talk.  The worst people will do is ignore you, and guess what?  There are a bunch of other people who won’t.

3. Go Eat Yes, you can have a burrito where ever you live.  But Austin is a food town.  And people, no matter who they are, love food.  LOVE IT!  You know what makes them love it even more?  An invitation.  Go to Champions on 4th and talk to Jason the bartender.  He’ll tell you where the best BBQ in the state is (hint:  it’s Salt Lick).

4. Share A Table Space is limited.  Everywhere.  No one cares if you invite yourself to sit down, and if you’re polite, and friendly, and cool, and not a “heavy typer” that makes the whole table shake, don’t hesitate to ask for a seat.  It’s a great way to meet people- I had the best conversation of the conference  that way (thanks, Mark!)

5. Say Please and Thanks I was at Gary Vaynerchuck’s presentation today (have a pretty funny story about that, actually- tune in tomorrow).  Here’s what Gary had to say, among other things: “I believe in the Thank You Economy.  You can’t scale caring.”  If you go out of your way to individually do something for the people around you, they’ll notice.  It’s not just fluff, no matter what you think of Gary -and he’s the most genuinely friendly and helpful speaker on the circuit, BTW.  It works.

You’re small town self deserves to share ideas as much as anyone else at SXSW.  But you have to make sure to speak up to be heard.  Because everything’s bigger in Texas.